Film Torments: Dragonball Evolution (2009)
THIS TIME on Torments, Dan powers up to take down the Mr. Satan of Dragon Ball media. If you’ve been on the internet – or happened to be growing up at the turn of...
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Review: Cats – Cosmic horror in musical form
YOU KNOW what a cat is. A cat is a sleek, elegant creature that licks itself and bounds across its world in apathetic fashion. It preens. It mewls. It doesn’t know whether it wants...
Film Torments: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)
THIS TIME on Torments, Dan looks at a sequel to a video game movie. There’s a visceral pleasure to be found in playing fighting games. Even beyond the competitive aspect and deep mechanics, chaining...
Film Torments – Foodfight! (2012)
THIS TIME on Torments, Dan looks at a disgusting piece of awful garbage. Much has been made of The Emoji Movie this past month. A brazen advertisement made to propagate its sponsored content with...
Film Torments: Dracula 3000 (2004)
THIS TIME on Torments, Dan wanders where the sun don’t shine. The direct-to-video market is dominated by horror. There’s a simple reason for this: Horror movies, by design, rarely require inflated budgets or star-studded...
Film Torments: Troll 2 (1990)
THIS TIME on Torments, Dan takes a look at an all-time classic. The badness of Troll 2 is legendary in contemporaneity. Its infamy among the bad-movie-loving community (we’ll call them ‘shitslaves’) is legion. For shitslaves like...
Film Torments: The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)
THIS time on Torments, Dan regresses to the vision of an all-time low. The Beast of Yucca Flats is the worst film I have ever seen. For long-time readers of the Torments I’ve written, or anyone who...
Film Torments: Ghosts Can’t Do It (1989)
THIS time on Film Torments, Dan takes on one of the worst films ever released to cinemas. To cut a story short, Bo Derek was a sex symbol in the early 1980s, exploding in popularity...
Film Torments: Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas (2014)
DELAYED by technical mishaps, this week’s Christmas Month Torment depicts an insane man explaining, at length, the truth behind Christmas traditions – Rich takes on (Kirk Cameron’s) Saving Christmas. There have been a swathe of...
Film Torments: Santa with Muscles (1996)
To ‘celebrate’ this happy time in its very own cock-mangling way, the SCM Film Section will be devoting the weekly torments of this wonderful December to horrendous Christmas films. Kicking us off is – what else?...
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