Predicting the BRIT Awards 2017

MUCH LIKE the colour beige, The BRIT Awards are a mind numbing, boring necessity in the world that it’s always best to not take too seriously. As most of you will be well aware by now, our annual dissection of Britain’s budget Grammy’s is due, and, while not always particularly accurate, it’s always a good laugh nonetheless. This last year in music has been pretty devastating to say the least, but you can bet your bottom dollar that The BRITs will still be around to make cheap sex jokes and to generally make the vibe feel rushed and hastily assembled.

Like most years, I still won’t be commenting on the British Artist Video category, because I honestly couldn’t be asked to watch them. I also won’t be looking at the British Single category, as I know about three of the songs on the list.

So, without further ado, scroll beyond this amusing photo of Father John Misty at last year’s ceremony to see my predictions…

Mastercard British Album of the Year

David Bowie – Blackstar

The 1975 – I Like It When You Sleep…

Kano – Made In The Manor

Michael Kiwanuka – Love & Hate

Skepta – Konnichiwa

 

Who should win: David Bowie OR Skepta

Who will probably win: Skepta OR The 1975

We had a whole 20 minutes or so of Bowieness last year, so I wouldn’t expect Blackstar to receive this ‘prestigious’ award, even if it does truly deserve it. Failing that though, it would be nice to see Skepta pick this one up. It’s a far cry from the Mercury Prize, but hey, it’s good that this spectacular Grime record is receiving the attention it deserves. Elsewhere, The 1975 stand a good chance of collecting this award, even if I Like It When You Sleep… was somewhat bloated and underwhelming.

 

British Female Solo Artist

Anohni

Ellie Goulding

Emeli Sande

Lianne La Havas

Nao

 

Who should win: Anohni

Who will probably win: Anohni

I wasn’t much of a fan of Hopelessness, but it’s still better and more meaningful than anything any of the other artists on this list have given us in this last year (with the possible exception of Nao). This should theoretically be a cake walk for Anohni; I’m pretty sure Ellie Goulding hasn’t done anything this year, while the releases from Emeli Sande and Lianne Le Havas have been pretty lacklustre. Here’s hoping the people at the top agree.

 

British Male Solo Artist

Craig David

David Bowie

Kano

Michael Kiwanuka

Skepta

 

Who should win: Skepta

Who will probably win: Skepta

As I said earlier, after honouring Bowie heavily at last year’s ceremony, is there really much point in giving him this award? Anyway, Skepta is the one to watch in this category, with Konnichiwa not only helping to put Grime back in the spotlight, but also giving us some damn good music. While the other artists in category are enjoyable (yes, even Craig David), I would very surprised if Skepta didn’t snap up this one.

British Group

The 1975

Bastille

Biffy Clyro

Little Mix

Radiohead

 

Who should win: Radiohead

Who will probably win: The 1975

Yes, that is Radiohead and Little Mix in the same category; only at the BRITs. Ok, so maybe Radiohead don’t really need any more awards, but A Moon Shaped Pool was so damn good, I mean come on! But then again, The 1975 are easily one of the most popular groups in UK at the moment, and with big pushes from the likes of the NME and Drowned in Sound, don’t be surprised if you see this group scooping this prize. Otherwise, this is probably one of the few occasions I’d rather Little Mix win over the, honestly, pretty boring efforts from Biffy Clyro and Bastille.

 

International Female Solo Artist

Beyonce

Christine & The Queens

Rihanna

Sia

Solange

 

Who should win: Solange

Who will probably win: Christine & The Queens OR Beyonce

Solange’s A Seat At The Table was both lyrically relevant and musically mature, so the fact she has a BRIT nomination is a bloody surprise. However it’s more likely her sister will receive this award, and not undeservingly; Lemonade is perhaps Beyonce’s best effort to date, and has also been insanely popular. It’s also worth to note Christine & The Queens popularity and her talent for bringing accessible and well made Pop music to the table, something that will surely go down well at these awards. Once again, Rihanna and Sia get nods, even though both released disappointing records.

 

International Male Solo Artist

Bon Iver

Bruno Mars

Drake

Leonard Cohen

The Weeknd

 

Who should win: Bon Iver

Who will probably win: The Weeknd

Let’s not beat around the bush, Leonard Cohen’s last album was great and all, the main reason he is on here is because he passed away. Still, it’s nice to see the BRITs acknowledging him, even if the chances of him winning are very slim. No, this award should go to Bon Iver; Justin Vernon showed the world once again how his project continues to grow and change, with 22, A Million converting even me. But then again, The Weeknd collaborated with Daft Punk on a song everyone seems to love but me so…

International Group

A Tribe Called Quest

Drake & Future

Kings of Leon

Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds

Twenty One Pilots

 

Who should win: A Tribe Called Quest

Who will probably win: Twenty One Pilots

Apparently there aren’t enough International bands in the world so the BRITs had to stick Drake and Future together and make do. I mean come on. But I digress. Shout out to the BRITs for giving a nod to Nick Cave and Co., but I would like to see Tribe take this one, especially after giving us the best Rap album of last year. While there is a chance they may take it, Twenty One Pilots have also been insanely popular (?) recently, and especially that God awful song that was on the Suicide Squad soundtrack. So hey, Tribe might take it, but I have a feeling TOP might have this one.

 

British Breakthrough Act

Anne-Marie

Blossoms

Rag ‘N Bone Man

Skepta

Stormzy

 

Who should win:  Skepta

Who will probably win: Rag ‘N’ Bone Man

I mean, I’m not totally disheartened by this one. Skepta could still win this one, but the fact he’ll most likely win Best British Male puts some doubt on this one. If the general public are to be believed, everyone is going ape shit for Rag ‘N’ Bone Man, so there’s a strong possibility that the BRITs will bend to the public’s whim and give him this one. While acts like Stormzy, Blossoms and Anne-Marie have all been in the spotlight at one point or another, none have had quite the effect of these main two contenders.