Film Torments: Jack and Jill (2011)
HERE at Surprisingly Competent Media, we just LOVE Adam Sandler. I mean, Grown Ups? Eight Crazy Nights? Classics! Amiright?! So, when it came to picking this week’s Film Torment, I had to go for 2011’s Jack and Jill. Starring Adam Sandler and Adam Sandler… IN DRAG! The premise is that Adam Sandler’s twin sister comes to stay for Thanksgiving and all hilarity ensues!
All joking aside, Jack and Jill is a horrible film. I thought I’d picked badly when I reviewed LOL a few weeks ago, but evidently I was wrong. Adam Sandler isn’t known for his films being particularly acclaimed, and it certainly shows in this release. Let’s run through the three main things that are wrong with this film. Firstly: Adam Sandler plays both Jack and his twin sister Jill. The sight of Sandler in drag is by no means the most pleasing thing in the world. In fact it’s quite repulsive. Not only that, but Jill’s voice is incredibly irritating. Obviously that’s the point, but it doesn’t do anything to help the film. The character of Jill is by far one of the worst fictional characters I have ever had the displeasure of watching on screen for an allotted amount of time.
Her mannerisms and attitude are just not funny. There is no comedic value in who she is or what she does in the slightest; it merely pisses off the audience even more. In fact, the ONLY scene I laughed at in this film was when a kid punches Adam Sandler in the face, and I don’t think it was for the right reasons. Even the scenes where she’s meant to be upset, or are meant to be touching just don’t work. If anything, it makes me hate the squealing piggy that is Sandler in a $20 skirt even more. About 50% of the reason I hate this film stem from Jill. What Adam Sandler has done is taken the spawn of Satan and moulded it into an image of himself in drag. God help us.
Next: it drags some great actors down with it. Oh, Al Pacino. What horrible thoughts were going through your head when you decided to play yourself in this god-forsaken excrement stain? I almost shed a tear as Pacino tears his career up in pieces and dances around on them. Remember The Godfather? Remember Scarface? Try to, please, as you watch Pacino prancing around in a Dunking Donut commercial. “Burn it,” he says. I sincerely hope he was talking about the film itself.
Katie Holmes is another casualty in this horror show. I can’t help but think that she is constantly whispering “think of the money” as she tries to make the best of this movie, with a face like someone in serious dire straits. I guess that was money for nothing (chuckles to self). Finally, Johnny Depp has the saddest cameo of the year, as himself, at a basketball game, wearing a Justin Bieber t-shirt. Sigh.
Now I want to talk about the humour. The character of Jill aside, the remaining humour is very, very, very, very basic. Who knew fart jokes were still in fashion? Not me obviously. But according to Mr Sandler they’re all the rage. But seriously, who sat down and wrote the scene where Jill has a dodgy stomach from eating Mexican food and laughed? Come on! There are also some extremely borderline jokes about race as well. If I was Indian, Mexican or Arabic, I don’t think I’d be okay with some of the stuff that’s said in this film.
Sandler sometimes feels like he’s pushing the boundaries with what’s okay in this film. There are a few jokes thrown around here (such as ones about al-Qaeda) that I just cringed at. There’s an entire scene based around the stereotypes of Mexican people, including a Grandma who is constantly fed Jalapenos. Again, who sat there and thought that was funny? On one last note about the humour: There are so many times someone can act surprised about the fact that the character of Jill is actually a woman. I counted at least five instances of it in the film. Not funny.
I’ve watched some films in my time that I thought were bad. Transformers: Dark of the Moon actually left me angry. Battleship made me feel sour. But no film has left me so dumbfounded with how bad it actually is than Jack and Jill. I see now why the film is the only in history to have won in every category at the Razzie Awards. This film is so spectacularly bad I can’t even begin to describe it. Please, for your own good, never even consider watching this film. Never buy the DVD. Never stream it on Netflix or illegally. Hell, if you have the option, don’t even buy it on VHS. Heed my warning.